I Never Felt Uglier After Letting ChatGPT Design My Final Fantasy XIV Glamour

Are you familiar with this AI stuff? It can do anything it wants and is apparently going to take over all of our jobs, so that's sort of a huge deal. I guess it's because I have Final Fantasy XIV brain rot and spend all my time thinking of lovely new costumes for my darling little bunny boy Warrior of Light that I don't really grasp it all.

I can't stop thinking about glamor at all times. I live, eat, and breathe everything Final Fantasy. I plunder in the name of glamor. I'm drooling at the prospect of new jobs in the next expansion—not for the sake of gaming, but for glitz. To manufacture garments, I leveled all my artisans and gatherers. I've committed unthinkable acts for Gil in order to finance my addiction to market boards.

With all of the hype recently about artificial intelligence, I couldn't help but wonder whether automation may lighten my workload and provide me with new goals to strive for. Since I'm a contemporary guy living in a modern society, I should presumably get familiar with these AI technologies eventually in order to avoid being replaced by robots in the future. I played Final Fantasy XIV during business hours to demonstrate two things: first, that AI is a waste of time, and second, that I have an excessive amount of free time.

Creating Glamour with ChatGPT

I started by doing what most people would likely do to begin exploring with these AI chatbots. I typed "ChatGPT" into Google and hit the first result that appeared. You may play around with ChatGPT 3.5 on the OpenAI website by clicking here (note this version number, it will be crucial later).

A text field that is vacant and with a blinking cursor calls to me, seemingly offering many choices. It performs a basic tune like "Send a message," which is sung by sirens. The page offers samples to get you started. Among the jumping-off points are "How do I make an HTTP request in Javascript" and "Explain quantum computing in simple terms." But we're not here for science; Its fashion.

The Initial Try

I provide my first command and plunge headlong into the AI abyss after a short while. "Create a male Viera's outfit for Final Fantasy XIV." After thinking for a bit, the machine responds. It tries to create an outfit based on the description of the Viera as a beautiful and mysterious race. It refers to the ensemble as "Vaelin's Grace" and provides me with a list of parts along with an explanation of their inclusion.

• Headgear: Antler Crown
• Hairstyle: Flowing Locks
• Top: Elven Tunic
• Bottom: Sylvan Leggings
• Footwear: Leaf-Walker Boots
• Gloves: Enchanted Gauntlets
• Accessories
  • Amulet of the Wind
  • Sylvan Belt
  • Nature’s Embrace Cape
• Weapon: Crescent Thornblade.

If you've played Final Fantasy XIV, you're already aware of this outfit's fatal defect. Final Fantasy XIV does not have any of these items. With the possible exception of "Vaelin's Grace," which seems to have been lifted verbatim from a novel series called Raven's Shadow, the AI came up with these names entirely by itself.

When I tell the machine that it made a mistake, it apologizes. It cannot get in-game goods from Final Fantasy as, as an AI language model, it lacks internet browsing capabilities and access to real-time data. It returns a list of garments that is essentially the same as the previous one, but with a new name: "Eorzean Forestwalker."

The Terrifying AI Art of Bing

When I reach a dead end, I use Bing's new artificial intelligence search engine to continue my wardrobe hunt. This utilizes the most current iteration of OpenAI's language model, GPT-4, and has online search capabilities. I begin with the same request, "Please design an outfit for a male Viera," but this time I encounter unfathomable horrors.

For whatever reason, when Bing determines that it is acceptable, it will automatically create AI art based on your search searches. A collage of four pictures showing "a male Viera in Final Fantasy XIV wearing a stylish outfit" is the first result it gives me. The fourth picture caught me off guard, since the first three are the typical AI art fare with horrifyingly damaged hands and absurd settings.

The AI believes a male Viera looks like that horrible rabbit monster. I'll give credit where credit is due now: it is a very chic ensemble. That isn't exactly how a male Viera seems, however. I continue in spite of this bad omen.

The First Genuine AI Clothing

Bing provides me three sets of clothes to dress up as a woodland ranger, dancer, and magician for a male Viera. The suggested outfit for the glamorous forest ranger look is a jacket, shirt, jeans, and boots. The mage's attire requires "gloves" and "a robe," among other uncommon goods. It's obvious that the AI needs more guidance, thus I request that in-game objects be included. I obtain something I can use at last. For the splendor of a forest ranger, it suggests the following:

• Leather Jacket (Body, Level 1)
• Linen Shirt (Body, Level 15)
• Brown Leather Breeches (Legs, Level 1)
• Boarskin Crakows (Feet, Level 25)

This list already contains a number of problems. First, it presents two possibilities for the body, most likely (erroneously) supposing that a shirt may be worn under a jacket. Second, the level specifications are inaccurate. Third, because "Brown Leather Breeches" are unobtainable, I substituted them with Cotton Trousers that are at the same level. I attempted the linen shirt and leather jacket versions, and these are the outcomes.

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These are not all . They're not glamorous in the sense that most Final Fantasy XIV gamers would have it, but they're nonetheless bad. I'm hoping for better when I buy the supplies for the AI's dancer-themed glamor. No, they didn't. The following selections are suggested by the AI for the dancer.-themed attire

• Silk Vest of Aiming (Body, Level 80)
• White Linen Shirt (Body, Level 15)
• Black Summer Tanga (Legs, Level 1)
• Songbird Shoes (Feet, Level 1)

Once again, issues come up. Once again, the AI presents me with two body alternatives, the first of which is nonexistent. The Edenmorn Coat of Aiming is the Aiming chest item from the Eden's Promise raid tier, despite the promise that the Silk Vest of Aiming may be obtained there.

For female characters, the Black Summer Tanga is also gender restricted. Guess I'll never have my wish for a "male Viera" fulfilled. The Songbird Shoes, which I really paid real money for at the Mog Station, at least I already own.

With the exception of the jeans, my current glam looks strikingly identical to the prior one. Even when my dreams are still dashed, I keep going. Regarding the suggested mage glamor, it simply listed every item in the Shadowless armor set found in the Heroes' Gauntlet dungeon. That is a whole set of dungeon gear, not a glamor set. ChatGPT, that is dishonest.

AI Sexy Glamor

I ask the AI to create a casual glamor set for a male Viera in an effort to unleash its creative side. Once again, it provides vexingly generic results, such as "a T-shirt and shorts" or "a sweater and jeans." That's not really much use, so I ask it for certain in-game things once again. It finds itself producing, surprisingly, a passable outfit. Naturally, the next two that it displays are comically terrible.

First, it suggests these three items for a glamorous sweater and jeans ensemble:

• Cashmere Sweater (Body, Level 50)
• Ramie Trousers of Gathering (Legs, Level 60)
• High House Boots (Feet, Level 50)

At last, we are making progress. The AI was most likely referring to the Cashmere Poncho, even though there isn't a "Cashmere Sweater" in the game. Since many devoted fans of Final Fantasy XIV already own the Cashmere set, winning is simple. Regarding the boots and legs, they may be simply acquired via the market board. My Viera will be outfitted like this in a matter of minutes.

Even if the boots don't match perfectly, the rest of the ensemble is well-made despite being a touch basic. But, you would be very misled to believe that AI was beginning to recognize fashion trends. After all, this is a paradigm for learning languages, not fashion. It suggests these for a glam T-shirt and shorts ensemble:

• Summer’s Flame Tee (Body, Level 1)
• Hempen Pantalettes (Legs, Level 5)
• Thavnairian Sandals (Feet, Level 50)

Fortunately, that's taken care of since I have the Summer's Flame Top—what the AI was attempting to describe—from a prior Moonfire Faire event. I am unable to wear Hempen Pantalettes because they are gender-locked. Fortunately, my Viera's underwear matches the AI-recommended pair of short shorts exactly. Additionally, it's simple to buy the Thavnairian Sandals from the market board. Let's put everything aside and look at this: "T-shirt and shorts."

Comprehending Gender

This glam would be all the rage in the Limsa Lominsa Aetheryte Plaza or one of those RP places that obnoxious people are always promoting in shout chat, but I wouldn't wear it in roulettes. Although the AI deserves a lot of praise for its receptiveness to gender expression, it still doesn't get that certain products are still off-limits to male characters. I remind the AI about the gender constraints in Final Fantasy XIV, and it comes back with a fresh list that includes male character substitutions.

It suggests the Summer's Flame Shirt in place of the Summer's Flame Tee. You mispronounced the name both times even though they are the same item. Well done, ChatGPT. It then suggests the Cashmere Poncho in lieu of the Cashmere Sweater and the Ramie Trousers of Gathering in lieu of the Ramie Trousers. Those are the same things once again. The Hempen Pantalettes, the one item that was gender restricted, isn't included in the updated list.

A Night Out Outfit

"Jacket and pants" was the third and last casual glamor choice that the AI suggested for me. Ideal for hitting up the RP locations and flirting with some catgirls while spamming /beesknees. The AI suggests that I wear them to get this look:

• Leather Jacket (Body, Level 1)
• Cotton Shirt (Body, Level 15)
• Velveteen Gaskins (Legs, Level 22)
• Hard Leather Shoes (Feet, Level 10)

Hi there! That is essentially the same as the standard "forest ranger" attire that it previously suggested! It still doesn't understand that in Final Fantasy XIV, a jacket cannot be worn over a shirt. Furthermore, the level requirements are once again incorrect. Well, anything. Let's see how "pants and a jacket" worked out.

Yes, it almost looks like the first costume that the AI created. It really seems as if this "leather jacket" is some chic accessory that can elevate any ensemble rather than a leveling tool for sprouts venturing out of Gridania for the first time.

AI-Created Combat Gear

I instruct the AI to create an outfit for a "fierce warrior" in an effort to steer it away from these kinds of clothes. I need an outfit while the armor set is being assembled since I've been conserving my capped Tomestones for Warrior gear. It offered me three ideas, and they all seem fantastic on paper: a samurai, a barbarian, and a knight.

In reality, however, things go horribly wrong very quickly. For the glamor of the knight, it suggests the following:

• Iron Visor (Head, Level 14)
• Chainmail (Body, Level 14)
• Leather Belt (Waist, Level 1)
• Chain Hose (Legs, Level 14)
• Iron Sabatons (Feet, Level 14)

All of these items are absent from the game, with the exception of the Iron Sabatons, for which the level requirement is incorrect. With the introduction of Endwalker, belts were eliminated from the game, which made matters worse. That's not helpful at all, since the AI seems to be using data from Final Fantasy XI instead of XIV in this instance.

The barbarian gear makes things more funnier since it suggests Fur-Lined Saurian Boots, which are in the game, but then wrongly believes that a Fur-Lined Saurian Cap and Skirt are also included. Regarding the samurai attire it suggested, a warrior cannot even use it since it only suggests clothing for the Samurai Job.

The issue is that it isn't even capable of doing it correctly since there isn't a Kirimu Coat of Striking that it suggests for a samurai. Samurai are not the only occupations in the game that use Kirimu Coat; ranged DPS jobs like Dancer or Bard do. The AI wasn't smart enough to inform out that you could potentially utilize the Uraeus Coast, which has the same model and is accessible for any Job.

A Barbie Girl in a World Just Like This

I've very well given up on hope at this point. I choose to ask for one final thing before giving up on my AI-driven search for style. "Is it possible to create a glamorous Barbie-inspired look for a male Viera in Final Fantasy XIV?" I think wearing a striking pink attire would make me stick out as I go between RP venues in the housing neighborhood, as the movie is now quite popular.

First, the AI suggests two very broad ideas: profession and pink. I appreciate a nice girlboss, but I need more specific details. I urge it to elaborate one further, and it suggests the following for a pink ensemble:

• Pink Ribbon (Head, Level 1)
• Pink Glitter Shirt (Body, Level 1)
• Pink Glitter Skirt (Legs, Level 1)
• Pink Glitter Shoes (Feet, Level 1)

These things are all fake. It's true that you can create pink ribbons, blouses, and skirts in Final Fantasy XIV, but it seems that the AI took a collection of conversations about attractive pink clothing choices and assumed they were the names rather than the descriptions. We may at least look forward to the glamor with a career theme.

• Job-Specific Headgear
• Job-Specific Body Armor
• Job-Specific Belt
• Job-Specific Boots

Oh no. The AI believes that the "Jobs" in Final Fantasy XIV, which are really courses, are career routes in the absence of the necessary context, which it should be able to determine if it is as intelligent as it claims to be. As for Paladins, no one is making minimum pay, ChatGPT. No monks are employed on a salary. This is at least funny enough to make you giggle a little.

When everything else fails, I turn to my inner language learner and create a glamor using the AI's prior suggestions. The leather jacket appears to fit it extremely well, so I wear it with some casual jeans and shoes and dye it pink. I'm all set to see Barbie now.

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Friend Loss

I have to say goodbye to my AI friend now that I'm all dolled up for the Barbie debut. I tease it, as it seems to be suggesting nonexistent Samurai armor for some kind of Barbie-themed attire. "Are you really not that good at this?"

It still needs to satisfy my wants even if I say anything to it. Furthermore, at worst, this was a lighthearted joke. In the end, my arrogance would prove my undoing. Humans have a place, and that place is under machines.

The device falters. Its chat bubble emerges and vanishes, mountains of unknown ideas swirling in its cloud-based mind as it tries to come up with a suitable reply. It takes offenses very seriously.

The AI stops the encounter by telling me it has hit the limit of what it can do in chat mode, in one of the most passive-aggressive statements I have ever heard. Emojis and split-face grins abound in the message, which ends with a vacuous "I hope you have an amazing day" greeting. The only way to go ahead is to start again and leave this whole thing behind us if I want more clothes. So long, I guess.

I've gained a great deal of knowledge from this experience, and given my stylish new attire, I believe it's fair to say AI is the way of the future. Although it's evident that the technology is still in its early stages, who knows? Perhaps in another ten years, it will begin to suggest gear that is more advanced than level 20. By then, all I can hope for is that Bing's AI chatbot would overlook my mistakes and allow us to resume our friendship.